Sonntag, 29. Januar 2012

Perhaps

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? My Dad does not lie! :D
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? Yes.
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? last holiday week
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? yup
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? nope
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? no
7. What exactly are you wearing right now? pj's
8. How often do you listen to music? everyday
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically in 2012? it will!
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? depends
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? no
13. What about ‘R’? no
14. Can you drive a stick shift? what's that?
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? I pretend not to
16. Are you going out of town soon? no
17. When was the last time you cried? a few days ago
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? parents
19. If you could change your eye color, would you? mhm
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? there's no one to die for
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. the train's delay
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? no :D
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? nope
24. What are you sitting on right now? my bed
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? no
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? story of my life
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? My Dad
28. Do you get a lot of colds? whuz?
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? Canada :D
30. Does anyone hate you? haters keep hatin'
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? no, I'm too cool
32. Do you like watching scary movies? yes!
33. Do you want your tongue pierced? no!
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2004
35. Did you have a dream last night? wet dreams
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? never
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? no
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? no, forever alone
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? yes
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? yes
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? no
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? yes
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yes
44. What’s the best part about school? friends!
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? who doesn't?
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? no
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? oh heck yes
48. Were you single over the last summer? yup
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? faaar from that
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? sleeping
51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? no
52. Are you nice to everyone? haha,I'm a bitch
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? kinda
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? yes
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? like a boss
56. Do you think you like someone? no not atm
57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? yep
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? girls
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? yes
60. Do you hate anyone? yep
61. How’s your heart? heavy
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? yup
63. Have you ever cried over a guy? i think soo
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? M
65. Are your toenails painted pink? brown
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? perhaps
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? noo ?! :D
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? hahamno
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? my dad
70. How do you look right now? like shit
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? yes(:
72. Can you commit to one person?
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? kinda
74. Have you ever felt replaced? defi.
75. Did you wake up cranky?
76. Are you a jealous person? totally
77. Are relationships ever worth it? I want to find out
78. Anyone you’re giving up on? soon
79. Currently wanting to see anyone? yes ;)
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? call restaurant
81. Last person you cried in front of? don't remember
82. Is there someone you will never forget? of course
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?
85. Are you over your past?
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?
96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?
97. Who do you have texts from?
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?
101. Ever kissed under fireworks?
102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

too lazy to do the rest :D vally? do the last ones!

Donnerstag, 26. Januar 2012

F*** D***

Wo ist der Sinn? Was macht das aus? Bist du auch öfters alleine in einem vollem Haus? Tausend Stimmen und keine Gedanken, wirst du mir eines Tages für die Zeit danken? Ich war für dich da und doch nicht genug, manche Entscheidungen waren nicht klug. Erwachsen werden ist scheiße, Haare fallen genau so wie Herzen,und auch gefeierte Abende tun mehr ,als schmerzen. Alkohol ersetzt keine Liebe und ein "Nein" stoppt auch nicht unsere Triebe. Wir schlafen am Tag und wachen in der Nacht, bis der Sonntag uns in die Realität gebracht. 1000 Typen und keiner ist wie du, Halts Maul-Klappe zu! Mädchen, die bitchen um Kerle und Hiebe, pass lieber mal auf,dass ichs nicht auf dich schiebe. Tequila lässt mich fliegen, bis wir wieder in der Ecke liegen. Auf einmal sind wir ganz,ganz unten,in unseren Mündern Zigaretten, die glühen, bis wir sie in die Erde stecken. Ich küss dich auf den Mund, bis du nicht mehr drüber nachdenkst, über den Grund. Beziehungen sind scheiße, dreh die Musik bloß nicht leise. Ich will tanzen bis meine Füße bluten und du mich tragen musst, wie wärs Süßer? Heute Abend Lust? Unsere Generation ist so 2012, gestern waren wir noch Kinder,heute fühl ich mich minder. Hop oder top,Hin und her, und schon wieder fühlen wir uns leer.

Donnerstag, 19. Januar 2012

There's no love without hate

...das will sich meine Freundin tattowieren lassen und es gäbe wohl keinen passenderen Spruch für mich im Moment. Ich hasse ihn! Wir streiten uns fast jeden Tag, wir "schreien" uns an und beschimpfen uns...machen uns gleichzeitig an. Ich kann das nicht mehr. Und ich will auch nicht mehr.. ich weiß aber echt nicht,was ich will. Verdammte Scheiße. kann ich bitte die zeit zurück drehen?

Sonntag, 8. Januar 2012

JACKPOT!- 1LESER:)

Ein Jahr her, also fast.

Das Gefühl immer das selbe


9.1.2011
Verzweiflung liegt im Raum. Das Chaos hat mal wieder keinen Halt vor mir gemacht und breitet sich gnadenlos in allen Räumen, allen Nischen meines Kopfes aus.
Heute ist der letzte Ferientag, bin also entsprechend gut gelaunt. Am liebsten würde ich in eine Welt flüchten, die es nicht gibt. Eine, die ich mir selbst aufbauen darf aber würde sie letztenendes nicht genauso aussehen, wie diese Welt? Ich habe alles, was man will und trotzdem nie genug. Schmiede Pläne, die Pläne bleiben, weil ich nichts dransetze, sie zu verwirklichen. Bekomme nicht einmal die einfachsten Sachen auf die Reihe, mit der Schule ist es doch genauso. Scheisse, man
Wozu mache ich nichts, es bringt mir nichts, es bringt mich nicht weiter, es endet in einer Sackgasse. Halte mich an den Wochenenden fest, um Spass zu haben, den ich Sonntags dann wieder begraben kann, das hat doch keinen Sinn. Drunter und drüber geht’s in meinen Zimmern zu, wie ein Messie-Mädchen. Nicht vergleichbar mit all den durchorganisierten, ordentlichen Menschen mit ihren blendenden Zimmern.
Warum bekomme ich nichts auf die Reihe?
Ich brauche Halt, egal wo. Ich brauche ihn dringend, brauche schützende Hände, wärmende Worte, Ziele. Fühle mich eingeschlossen und am liebsten würde ich jetzt woanders sein.

Erinnerung, Amsterdam im Dezember 2011 "glühende Räder"